Can totally relate to your reasoning. Sometimes we would argue and his favorite thing to do in an arguement was to walk out; sometimes he would come back that day, sometimes he would stay out for a 2-3 days. She would say terrible things to me like, We said not to abort the baby, we didnt say keep it When we found out my baby was a boy he made me feel defective in some way. About how he was sick and. Hes basically saying this guy will support him. I wanted to fix him and him truly love me and actually end to marry me. The relationship started off amazing thought I was so lucky to have found this person. If the narcissist was making a final discard though, they could go no contact on you for months. Get a life! When the environment fails to provide such evidence, narcissistic individuals feel depressed, ashamed, and envious of those who succeed in attaining the supplies that they lack.. I was not interested in him & he chased me in a stalker way. At the same time that theyre super-critical of others (to regularly remind themselves of their superiority), their egos are so frail that when someone attacks their words or actions they can fly into what Ive alluded to as narcissistic rage. As I explain in The Narcissists Dilemma: They Can Dish It Out, But : "Although narcissists dont (or wont) show it, all perceived criticism feels gravely threatening to them. Maybe she will make a better effort to get better? Seeing how he can treat me, I refuse to let him brainwash my daughter! Such self-exaltation is intimately tied to their similar defense traits of arrogance, interpersonal exploitativeness, sense of superiority, and (as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) puts it) "preoccup[ation] with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love." During a separation from me ( there has been many) he can have this type of supply for about a week, then becomes irrational, angers easily and seeks only me . And I said yes he flew back which I payed for and we started to live together. I lost most my friends over this. We are constantly off and on, I always go back. Very evil. Good luck for the woman he is living with now. I could be sleeping on the couch with the dog the dog was on the couch?! He too was in middle of divorce. Ns are what you call on a spiritual level the Jezebel spirit. Not its wrong. After he says all that but has texted me saying what am I doing. 12 years later and many, many, many ups and downs, mostly downs (! Well my friend texts me. Thanks for the great insight, Its been three painful years breaking up from an extremely abusive relationship. its is a long and difficult path. She has been dealing with him filling her up with attempts to destroy me since she was young and able to comprehend. So now, its been almost a week since he dumped me; the only things left here are a couple of riding mowers in the yard that need to be fixed, his fishing equipment, a grill and some other random items. For those of you who keep falling back into their clutches, please keep reading on line. Thanks for your post. Like how could someone do someone who had great intentions so badly??? God will help you. Another feeling that narcissists reject and fear is gratitude. My ex husband comes to the airport and doesnt take his eyes of my son. Finally his sister set me straight on him and that he can never be trusted He is 62. When I would get so upset about how he didnt even NEED to know how I was, he would say he was busy and would get back to me. I have forgotten how many times she left me and the pattern was becoming familiar. His retribution most likely be as well. You can spend a lifetime trying to decipher their actions. Since doing do I have been blessed to accomplish so much that I was not able to do in this marriage. The grave misfortune in their decision to safeguard their (actually false) self should by now be obvious; by refusing (or being unable) to open up their heart to others, they prevent themselves from ever getting whatdeep down and totally out of their awarenessthey most desire and desperately need. Feel like I just stepped off a train wreck Just hoping & praying that he keeps his distance. My heart is cold and misses him at times but knowing he never gave or will give 2 shits about my my good heart he played as putty makes me stronger and able to say F him! He started sending me messages in instagram. I am not in contact with my son, as he is still manipulating him, but im hoping that he will come around in his own time, I am NOT saying this is easy. He demanded everything but my needs were optional. Things can only work out in your relationship only if you give chance to the right person to assist you. A few more weeks down the road, he was spending several nights a week with me until I told him I wanted a real date, you know like outside the house in public. he helped me get my man back and make him understand that he must love me till the end of time, When we got back together it felt so cool. I have been in much counseling and had made great strides in recovery and becoming someone many had seen As one who was over coming Many devastating obstacles in my life! What fascinates me is the addiction to porn. Breakups involve a mutual failure, potential rejection, and even more of a reason to perceive one's partner negatively. Then I hear nothing for weeks once again. When I explained that my 3.4 gpa plummeted to a 2.0 due to the pregnancy, (high risk) she chastised me saying, Well there has to be consequences right? Anyway so we currently reside in the same city, I have resolved to return home with my son. If you continue your relationship with the narcissist: Seek therapy or outside support. His posts have received over 50 million views. I truly believed this was my knight in shining armor. He started calling and texting every day and night. Its funny how everyone who meets him thinks he is gay. I wish Id have never met him. We often fail because of attaining what we want in our life the peace and love. Its as if there not human and feed off you in any way. A few months later, Ju told me that her relationship with her partner is over and she will be loyal to me I felt somewhere that it was my fault and was abit sad. The porn, the lies, text messages from women he met on these sites with nude pictures attached. So I told him not to worry, I will schedule an abortion. Enough! Unfortunately i was so unlucky and could not dig up any dirt. How cruel are you. If everything is so great why are they calling? There is bad out there real bad take it from one who knows. I know I would not be of a sound mind after all I went through and from time to time to a much lesser degree I still have to contend with because we are parents. I wish I left years ago he is worse than ever and now doing drugs which make him more volatile and abusive. We stopped to dinner on the way and later, I had the best sex I had ever experienced on that little bed in the back cab of the truck. He was so beautiful in person. The abuse continued but I bought 2 doorknobs with key locks. He never complimented me on my intelligence, was always on my looks. Your feelings are only a way to control you. They cant take criticism or to be told no. 1. Which I should. Often the narcissist will act hurt, as if they dont understand why the breakup occurred in the first place. They are all psychopaths, females are less likely to receive this diagnoses they are more likely labelled as borderlines. I know you are a student who is juggling a lot, but your spare time (maybe even once a week) to help you return to who you used to be, join new activities you would never think of joining like a sport or a cooking or legal class. Today I am TRULY HAPPY. Communicating with a narcissist gives them power, so take it away. Its almost a year since Ive had those rings and we have never discussed the wedding. I had enough . Prayers please. 5.3 Creates Lack of Trust. I saw it on his pc. I lived the exact same situation in a boomerang for 5-years. Its helping! Victoria. And my family hates hates him. He always blew me off as if the topic wasnt important. Takes me to the hospital. If nasty/vicious people are out of our life, maybe god thinks that you deserve better. I said my piece a few days ago, about how it takes two and why I was upset. I really dont know anyone thats happy with kids. Be very very careful!! Im confusedwhat does it mean if he didnt exhibit ANY of the behaviors offered in this article? I dont know a selfish man Ive dated that hasnt! I would get so upset that he didnt even need to contact me.. he completely threw himself into work. He destroyed me and my life he disliked my friends and family it was all about him. Having read this makes much sense and I can honestly say that I realize I am this way but yet so is he. I was so blinded by my narc. I was so upset that she hasnt been there for me. Holding private things we did together over my head. My only question is how do you go about getting them out if you live together? in my time of recovery from my N, I have discovered that this behavior is sometimes handed down from the mother who may also have those same N behavior patterns. Narcissistic admiration is about building oneself up impressing others; narcissistic rivalry is about building oneself up putting others down. Why am I almost certain, that he will unblock me at some point and come back? What do I get ? He just showed up at my job on Fathers Day drunk and crying saying he made a mistake that he loved me and needed me back that he would change blah blah blah! Keep records of conversations, events, etc. I dont mean to whine,Im just stating fact. Paul, I can really see where the problem here lies. ( there is a difference between these two disorders ). He would try to bully me and my children so much that we all were literally walking on egg shells. Manipulation is their biggest hobby, so when their victims find their voice and decide enough is enough, a feeling of anger and emptiness washes over them. He tried his best to damage my confidence and self esteem but I got out just soon enough. This was the one thing I discovered about him earlier this year. In most cases, going "no contact" as soon as possible is the most effective way to break off with a narcissist. Even if they have already obtained another source, they still want attention from you. He never did. Make yourself a better version. Whats Ever to isolate me. Wow.!!! he needs protecting .get a stable income or if on welfare provide evidence of your not struggling and budgeting for u and child. All during the relationship, he has accused me of cheating and lying when I have done no such thing. But in the meantime, I told my husband that I have fallen in love and that I am moving on. He immediately called me and tried to convince me he was coming, which he also said like an hour before, but I was pissed he was not respecting my time so I blew him off. Im BLOCKED on his phone now! Youve been through a very traumatizing experience and this will cause you future issues if not dealt with. The Following Is An Excerpt From A Document Ive Written Regarding My Experience With A..Well I Tend To Think A Narcissist..But Possibly A Sociopath..Im Not Sure Which. This is created anxiety by the nurse assessed. He was creepy, before we found out what the baby was he would say things like, I really want a girl. The he wanted his wife at home waiting for him, and he wanted to have his cake out here and have some fun. He is gone this time But others say he will be back I am seeking a therapist. I was mad and at the same time sad but i was going to find out how true they where before i ask her or rather before i was going confront her about what i know about sexual relationship with her boss. It is unethical to do so and they seem to have no problem with it. Well I sat there in disbelief?! Make calm, peaceful statements and then the crazy-making behavior and gaslighting on their side will stop. Well first. I did not know you should never try to expose them, this makes you an enemy to them. Was a perfectionist & obsessed with there body. Didnt realize how depressed and low Id become. I flew back home alone realising he was a cheat and a Liar! Narcissists disregard the need for others to feel seen and heard. I felt so bad for creating so much distance between them. I mean almost overboard. HA!. anyway he used this situation to his advantage I haD many breakdown obviously not infront of him but found is painful being away from my child. In both being this way any words of advice on how to move in in a positive manner and try to continue to have our lives together. Living with a narcissist can lead to feelings of insecurity, confusion, and self-doubt. Any advice or suggestions? Nope. 1. By about August 2015 it had such a tight grip on me I was virtually paralysed from doing much of anything due to my fear of her, severe depression, complete loss of self confidence and little to no self esteem. Most importantly since she has now left her boyfriend, I am the one who is breaking up the family. Lazy. The only good that came out of my going back was that I needed to find myself that low that I could pull myself up and cut him off for good with no remorse. This is undeniably their biggest source of frustration ever. He was very eager to get into sex right the way. She told him he was a pathetic piece of Shit, that he was just calling her because he wanted me back & I was the best thing he ever hadyada yada yada. when she asked me, I immediately said no and that it was an old pic she now feels betrayed and emailed me that she is so hurt. Shitshows at the bar, parking lots, in the car. so do I. my daughter is so happy with me. To get my wife off my back, Ive agreed to give her over 75% of what we own together already! Im so glad to have seen the light and get away but I feel so sad for my disabled son who loves his father very much it is breaking his heart and mine. The narcissist completely brainwashes that you are the reason for the damage of the relationship. A hand to write and technology to block contacts after what youve said or wrote but talk to yourself , take months to be alone , cry and come upto a decision. I slep with Allan. The car needed to be repaired which I knew so he told me he would be seeing me at the end of the week to take it to be fixed. He threw himself into his new job and couldnt have cared less that I was there or not. cheap prostitution. I found a list with the many girls names. He owns a complex and seems his tenants who are always indebted to him as he supplies cash when needed , cashes their government checks for a fee etc .. keeps them hooked or stuck. Yet what happens when survivors are lucky enough to identify the abuse that is occurring to them and with the right support and resources, are able to leave their abusers first? These personalities don't exist if they have no one to manipulate and control. I think the only way to avoid this guy for the next 18+ years would be for you to give up the baby. Take the time to Know yourself, Value yourself, have CONFIDENCE in yourself. If not for Metodo Acamu i would probably be a wasted human by now. He was cold as ice to me; it was my fault, I put him out again. He would purpose let me see he was texting someone, in the mean time making sure I was there for him as his trophy, He liked to parade me around and show off to his firefighter friends, jus because I am pretty, young and have a pretty body. I was married 8 years then divorced. He would sleep out by family as he would claim, it just was too much to bear. She has helped alot of narcissitic abuse victims. Take it as far as limiting him only being able to speak with you via email. and send his picture. Follow. And how there so attractive. Always saying I was sexy, too shallow for me. Get up and make a change, right now, just do it and dont stop trying. In a way, their loss (being with the narcissist) is your gain. But we started having more disappearing acts; I would confront him and he would make up lies. I can literally say my life is perfect because all i need in my life was my family and i had it back with a stronger love bond. When you're leaving a narcissist, it's even more difficult. Im starting to become like him, which scares me. I didnt feel my son was safe alone with his father while I was at work at times.. because the break-down he had.. because he says he could trust me with coworkers. He used to physically abuse me but due to avo s in the past it became mental and verbal abuse only. I than left, and he started full pursuit again. And then, the hurt and tears start as I ask the N to please, if you know where(NAME of fairytale guy I met) is, please tell him that I miss him, and then I say, Im sorry that this CREEP couldnt stand YOU because I began loving YOU, and I know HE killed YOU and has been tormenting me with lies and trying to convince me that HE is YOU, NO! Today Im so happy and i want to recommend this great spell caster to anyone that truly needs an urgent solution to his or her broken relationships and marriage. Hurting people for attention and gratification. You do. The narcissist does whatever it takes to get what they want from you. His phone. Idk what ended up happening with you..if you still have the baby or not. since my divorce I have not had a relationship with anyone as I realized I was severely damaged mentally ,physically and spiritually. Funny you metioned he breaks up but you are not to tell anyone, I thought this only happened to me. That was a great post. our daughter had SS involved while I was pregnant managed to get away but I feel authority failed us. Theyve made my life a nightmare down through the years.Ive tried to move out on my own but theyve thwarted my attempts. let your ex play whatever game he can dont fall for the manipulation the love bombing co parent and if he refusing make sure you have it all on writing do not go back! because in getting back on control to protect my daughter in the long run. This is the self-doubting, recessive part of their being that, though well hidden from sight, is nonetheless afflicted with feelings and fears of inferiority. He did not even want me to meet his mother claiming that she is trouble etc. They tend to have high self-esteem, be bold and assertive and feel happy and confident about their lives. On top of all of it, I am without a job and my car does not work so for the past year, Ive been driving one of his cars. Ive stuck rigidly to NC.