Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. Hartman Jule, "I have never liked working. "The more your money works for you, the less you have to work for money.". 50. Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. What are the four food groups for cops? Before you invest, investigate. Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". May the wife have a happy time. The ground is part of nature. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. QuotesGram 26. picclick.com. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. Are you married to a police officer? Thank You for the 28 years you gave Happy Retirement! 25 Greatest Retirement Songs for a Party or Slideshow 57. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. done for this department over the years! It ain't going to happen.". Here it is, she said. Enjoy.". Abe Lemons. Funny Police Quotes - Etsy 10. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. Humorous quotes and messages. Retiring State Trooper Grammar Police Funny Sarcasm Quotes Literary T-Shirt . Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! Unknown, "Retire from your job, but never retire your mind." And who knows? 11. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. "Retirement is wonderful. QuotesGram. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Money is only a tool. Prepare for the worst. If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! Betty White. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. 51. Also, congratulations, Boss! Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Thats becuase it was a shooting star. comprehensive, reliable. 37. Some call it 'retirement.' What are riot police in Germany called? Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?, Driver: Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with traffic. Officer: There is no traffic. and may you find joy and peace You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. Before you pray, forgive. happy days are here at last! There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! We wish you the best of luck Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. Love sharing with your friends and family? Retirement Quotes. 53. 2. - Unknown. Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. Why did the police arrest the turkey? "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. Hello, time. Unknown, We no longer follow traditional retirement models. To the People of the State of New York. It's when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it." Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. 15. "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job" - Ella Harris. A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. We enjoy success due to your leadership, When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. I cant get old; Im working. However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. 54. The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. A Russian man goes to the secret police and says, My talking parrot disappeared., I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn. Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. All content, Harry Vardon, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. 50 Retirement Quotes That Will Resonate With Any Retiree - Southern Living Walter Cronkite, "I'm always announcing my retirement. Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. Funny Police Retirement Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2023 Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price 26 Funny Retirement Memes You'll Enjoy - SayingImages.com Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. only and are not investment advice. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. Because it was mugged. Wishing you a happy retirement! 7. Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. "Hello, Goodbye" by The Beatles. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. 12. Oh, my friend, that can't be! They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog Your tireless work ethic and tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services 36. This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. Unknown, Expect the best. 14. Nothing happens by accident. They apply financial concepts in a general manner and include Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? for the rest of the department. 25 funny and sweet messages to write in a retirement card - Metro Funny Retirement Quotes. Why did the police officer smell so bad? All sorted from the best by our visitors. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial Charles Lamb. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Top 69 Retirement Cake Sayings - Retirement Message Ideas A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. 25 Incredibly Creative Police Retirement Gifts 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. Unknown, "How do you know it's time to retire? Why did the police arrest the star? 1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. This song shows that even goodbyes can be hellos to a new part of life. Police Retirement Humor Posters for Sale | Redbubble I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Yo momma so fat she sat on the corner and the police came and said, "Break it up!". John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Police say they have nothing to go on. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. Goodbye Tension. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." They arent going to get rid of me that way. Betty White, I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty ONeill Collins, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Ella Harris, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young, Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. Why are policemen such great volleyball players? Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. 43. Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Richard Armour, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. SPPRA -- When Cops Retire Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! "Heroes don't always wear capes." -Unknown. "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? 12. Police officers: Commemorate your coworker's strength, courage and bravery with a personalized police retirement gift. And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! A Lifelong Friendship. 25. Retirement Party. Unemployed and Loving It. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). They aren't going to get rid of me that way. Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. . Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. 45. George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. In appreciation for over 31 years Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Among other things, NewRetirement The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes I am graduating. 58 Funny Retirement Quotes to Make You Laugh When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. So, I do it three or four times a day. Gene Perret, Im not just retiring from the company, Im also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. Hartman Jule, Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Unknown, Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and how you want to do it. Catherine Pulsifer, Youre retired goodbye tension, hello pension. Unknwon, Retirement is wonderful. What is a police officers favorite type of tag? Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Patrick Foley. Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! Funny Retirement One Liners Archives - Senior Living Services Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. "Half our life is spent trying to find . find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. 32. 50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. 23. What happened? 40. Before you criticize, wait. 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. - Jonathan Clements. acted upon as a complete financial plan. the People of the City of New York. in all your future endeavors! Before you retire, save. How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? We tell 'em to get a life." William A. Retirement Wishes for Coworker - Retirement Farewell Messages & Quotes Retirement Speech Tips with One Liners and Jokes - Presentation Magazine "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. A word of warning. Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. 35. quotesgram.com. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. We go. Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! Before you die, give. They serve and protect. Open up! If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. Funny Retirement Wishes: Humorous Quotes and Messages If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. Quote Mug. Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. Chi Chi Rodriguez, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." 52. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. You're no longer cuffed to a job. 3. What did the police officer say to the hand? Sandra Day OConnor, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. He had them stumped. SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. - Gail Sheehy. I dont feel anything until noon. William Shakespeare, Age to me means nothing. Have you been drinking?, Driver: I noticed your eyes are glazed over. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? Will Rogers, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Funny Retirement Speeches - Funny Jokes How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? Samuel Johnson, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Ella Harris, "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? Before you quit, try. Police Retirement. Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Funny military sayings - Special Speeches 10. It was mugged. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Women go right on cooking.". The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. You cant win until you do this. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! The claw Enforcement. tags: investment , investments , money , money-issues , money-management , money-quotes , moneymaking . I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. NewRetirement Planner and PlannerPlus are tools that These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. Cars are backed up for miles.