Whether youre saying the affirmations aloud or writing them down, laughing along will only strengthen their effect. 1. 180. Remember that the effects of affirmations are no laughing matter, so make sure your voice is heard. 181. I stick to things until I get to my destination. Live life to the fullest. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. I am attractive just as I am. 88. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Even if youre a skeptic, you must admit these funny affirmations really work. I am grateful for all that I have. Ensure that your actions match your words. 271. It gets toad away. "I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. 91. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. Let me know in the comments section down below! 210. 23. With a cowculator. I never apologize. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Youll probably grin or laugh if you say these affirmations aloud, thinking youre crazy. Art doesnt transform. So, watch your words, restructure your thoughts, and stay positive if you want to see a change in your life. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? Start your day on a positive and lighter note with these funny daily affirmations and quotes to get you through. Looking for positive funny affirmations? Albert Einstein. When the past comes knocking, dont answer. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. 130. Im not lazy, Im just very relaxed. 71. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. Jonathan lockwood huie. There's value in patting yourself (and your friends) on the back.Positive affirmations are statements that can help brighten your outlook on the world when you say them to yourself regularly or write them down in a journal.While affirmations are no substitute for professional help such as therapy when you're experiencing anxiety or depression, those who swear by the power of uplifting . 71. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. When nothing is going right, go left. "Life is like a roller coaster pic - scary at the moment, funny looking back.". But even if this does happen, who cares? Discover short videos related to funny affirmations on TikTok. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. 64. 129. "You have to be odd to be number one.". Focus on the positives and be grateful. Why cant you play cards on a small boat? 94. 2. People wont be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made. Can February march? 201. You dont have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps. George Burns, 253. Funny Friday Quotes. Wilson Mizner 26. If you just want to keep reading, then heres some affirmations about the funny side of friendship. 126. 200 Best Sarcastic Quotes and Funny Sarcasm Sayings - Parade INSPIRATIONAL positive mindset affirmation #shorts #short #shortvideo 188. Dont worry about those who talk behind your back, theyre behind you for a reason., See also: The Best List Of 130 People Talk Behind Your Back Quotes. Take some time each day to go through these funny affirmations for self-esteem and see how your mood shifts in response. I tried, but they wanted cash. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. 124. Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. 3. "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.". 8. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. 273. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Really? "In life only one thing is certain, Friday will come.". You may feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable. You were too lazy to read that number. 32. 49. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? Laughter brings me closer to people. - Bob Hope. But it'll move up again.". Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. Chris Rock 176. God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. I am not letting an episode of my life ruin the entire show. 140. Affirmations can either be written down, spoken out loud, or visualized in the form of a conversation between money and you. 110 Positive Funny Affirmations To Make You Smile Daily - The Random Vibez Life is always rocky when youre a gem. Once you're feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. A wishbone. Sometimes these surprises are way too spectacular and sometimes way too tragic. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'. 118. If Im not there, I go to work. Robert Orben, 4. Build a bridge. It gets toad away. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. What is the tallest building in the entire world? Im sorry, but thats just the way I am. 184. Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. Best friends eat your food. 153. Be like a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet from the inside., 11. Being funny seems to be taking less effort. Sam Levenson. Your habits become your values. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. Sharing quotes, proverbs, and sayings of great authors to touch people's lives to make it better. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Your brain will only ever optimally respond to positive present tense affirmations such as " I am calm .". 177. Send me the link. 253. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 165. Henny Youngman 87. Enjoying this list of funny affirmations so far? Stop texting me in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my text. 1. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? 24. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. And no, that's definitely not a bad thing! - Unkmown. As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. 3. Infographic: Why Do People Swipe Right (or Left) on Tinder. My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go., 5. Its called tomorrow. I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. 3. 169. "Today will be a great day". 1. Think about all the things you're struggling with in your life. 224. 69. A backbone. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. My to-do list doesnt include dealing with negative people. As I become responsible, I have got more powers. I dont think thats a coincidence., 3. 159. I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. 3. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me. I am strong and getting stronger every day. Without further ado, lets look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. 51. 142. I love my kids, which means I am doing just fine. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Youre born free, then youre taxed to death. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. 109. Hello little voice inside my head, please just shut up. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. Robert A. Heinlein Affirmations are a great way to change your mindset. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. 33. - TS Eliot. A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? Lily Tomlin, 242. 134. No man goes before his timeunless the boss leaves early. 240. 241. 213. 125. It just plain forms. Choose words that make you feel confident about yourself. 50 Funny Affirmations for a Daily Dose of Humor - Happier Human Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Have a look! Life begins on Friday night. I can do this. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be miserable., 7. Snowballs. 112. It has nothing new to tell you. Go to bed with satisfaction.". 259. Use them as a tool to boost your self-esteem and productivity, as well as to overcome procrastination and complete all assigned tasks. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. This might be a work in progress, or you might need to remind yourself of how funny you actually are. 267. Gary Delaney What do I do for a living? Dont let anything or anyone stop you from achieving what you truly aspire. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. 1,132 Positive Affirmations: Your Daily List of - Develop Good Habits I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. I love my body. It's OK to take a break. 9. Microchips. 168. 3. I am so f*cking awesome. I see food, and I eat it. Ann Landers, 244. 239. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. And, it doesnt have to be hard or complicated! The most important aspect is being honest with yourself and opting for a meaningful statement. Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. Even on my worst days, turning on some stand up immediately puts me in a better mood. Today, I look at my goals. My body belongs to me and I can set boundaries around it. It changes your perception and these short positive affirmations have a way of changing the way you look at yourself and feel more confident. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. Dont worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. 226. 66. Rodney Dangerfield. 124. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. 5. 99 Positive Morning Affirmations You Can Use Daily A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. I nourish my body every day. Milton Berle, 245. Watch popular content from the following creators: Maaryfairyy(@maaryfairyy), Jasmines Garden(@jasminesgarden23), Dazley(@dazzlemeup), JaySean(@jaysean), Nathalie Munoz(@nathaliemunozx3) . 86. Positive affirmations aren't about tricking kids into mentally looking at life with eyes that only see what they want to see. I feed my spirit. Your words become your actions. 251. 102. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. Good morning! Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. Your actions become your habits. Why cant you trust an atom? 22. I tried, but they wanted cash. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. 11. At night, I cant fall asleep. 20. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome. Steven Alexander Wright I am capable of rewriting my grievances and transforming my fears. 270. Ken Dodd 149. 7. My funny vibes attract my happy tribe. Ive collected 90 funniest affirmations from different sources on the web that will help you start a day in a positive manner. One of the most important aspects of affirmations is how authentic they feel to you. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. 276. Theres no stopping me now. 187. I'm a peli-can! The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde, 5. IRS: Weve got what it takes to take what you have got. 39. The library, because it has so many stories. I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. Art doesnt transform. In between, I am alive. Thats what youre called when you dont have a job. Those who snore always fall asleep first. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. I get it nowIm single because Im a superhero., See also: 140 Single Quotes For Instagram Celebrating Single Life. Those who snore always fall asleep first. 25. 156. It is already tomorrow in Australia.". Helen Giangregorio I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. Some people are like clouds. 18 Funny Positive Affirmations. Top 40 Best Funny Affirmations To Make Your Day (2023) "I am becoming humorous day by day.". 274. 81. The rest are too expensive. Effective pushing often involves poop. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. happy. My mood swings keep life interesting. 107. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. Not sure who to credit this meme to, but kudos. I say what I want and i dont care what everyone else thinks about it. 200+ Funny Life Quotes Dripping With Sarcasm And Wit - Scary Mommy Dont forget to check out our post onlove yourself quotesandvision board quotesto attract positivity in your life. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. I am thankful for all the problems I dont have. 11. I am just making myself capable enough to live in the moment. 189. Yeah, so is a grenade. What is the tallest building in the entire world? No matter what I look like. 7. 69 Funny Affirmations To Lighten Up Your Mood 2. 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. I ve had great success using daily affirmations for my personal development. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Bill Murray Walking into a room and then forgetting why I am here is my daily cardio. Using humor can help you bridge the gap and empower you to believe in affirmations and their outcome. Funny Affirmation Quotes - ShortQuotes.cc Plus, youre never gonna become funny and charismatic by being afraid to speak your mind. Revenge sounds so mean, thats why I prefer to call it Returning the favor.. Today is a great day. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. 8. Bill Murray, 251. Albert King. It will warm you twice unknown. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. 114. 208. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. And in that moment I swear I still didn't give a shit. Cry a river. 36. Say "Thank you" - A Motivational Video On The Importance Of GratitudeIntro Speech by Denzel Washington (Commencement Speech)Main speech by Fearless Soul "Tha. Affirmations are an opportunity to be honest with ourselves and recognize that we have a treasure trove of power and creativity within us. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Allow your body to absorb the positivity of your words by repeating them to yourself. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. 26. I dont have everything I want, but I have all I need. Given below are some short quotes to tickle your funny bone. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. I did not trip and fall. 217. 221. 162. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. Be kinder with yourself and change your thoughts for better health (physically and emotionally). They make you change without hurting your self-esteem. 101. Stressed spelled backward is desserts. 84. - Catherine Pulsifer. 92. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. People wont be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made. I should have theme music every time I enter a room. Perhaps youre just starting to use affirmations and still cant take yourself seriously. Life is a game full of little and big surprises. avoid carbs. 205. 41. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. I personally love watching masters of comedy, Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre. 49. 3. Im thinking like a proton, always positive. It doesnt work if it is not open. To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? 27. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield., 10. Albert Einstein, 190. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. What do computers eat for a snack? Funny affirmation quotes funny quotes about affirmation. No matter what a mess I am, my kids adore me. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. "Have a great Wednesday. If youre looking for a way to brighten your day and amp up your attitude, youve come to the right place. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. Dont forget that you get 24 hours, even on your worst day. Using affirmations can significantly impact your outlook on life, but saying such serious statements to yourself can often make you feel silly. Its okay if people dont like me. I like expensive things because I learn the act of taking care from them. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me., 8. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? 261. Be Funny Positive Affirmations
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